There are profound pleasures and debilitating disappointments in life. As a romantic idealist, it seems that I experience both to the fullest. Maybe one could go so far as to say that such a philosophy of life tears away the thin film that clouds our daily existing, feeling things to a somewhat unhealthy extreme.
I haven't posted in a quite a while. This is partially because of my recent explorations of the city consuming a large part of my day; however, I think most of it revolves around adjusting to the social and intellectual dynamics of law school. It is not extremely relevant to my posting today, but I thought I should inject some explanation, as I have often been annoyed with many a writer that fails to feed me with works on a regular basis.
I've met many people in the past two weeks, while accepting new experiences that I previously held back from. Some of them have been amazingly pleasurable; others have been disappointing. The one thing that ties my recent experiences together is the people.
Everywhere I experience people, I find something redeeming within human nature. From the crack addicts on the side of the street that get up every day to the people who walk by them while ignoring the pleas for change on their way to work, human beings persevere no matter their environment.
In the lost and forgotten part of society, I can find the heart of humanity - the constant suffering that is visible physically and thrown back into the faces of the invisible people. Knowing tomorrow will hold nothing better and still moving on, there exists concrete proof that falling down completely will not stop the soul.
It is easy for most other people to go forward in life. With the insulating advantages of money, education, food and safety, life does not throw challenges that we really have to continually and wholly struggle against in our daily lives. The most difficult things experienced by most of the people around me involve trying to figure out how to pay back loans or dealing with a relationship that is in dire straights. Maybe a dying relative or a loss of personal faith lies at the extremes. These things are part of normal life, and we function with and through them, overcoming the simpler hurdles.
The two sides I have mentioned are commonly stated. It is the connection between them that is not addressed. The person vomiting on the sidewalk and the businessperson that casually steps around to avoid damaging her or his shoes - this connection is the crucial one.
It is a fine line between pretending a person is not in front of you and not seeing the person in front of you. When you glance at the unwashed panhandler and catch their eye, you can see the glimpse of some connection, even if it is simply the person realizing they can target you for monetary sympathy. The slight eye contact that includes revulsion, pity, and wariness preys on the bond that humans hold with one another.
The loss of that contact is dangerous. Allowing such people to become invisible is a separation from the most shameful part of our cities and slums. It indicates an apathy that separates us from our humanity - the shame, the hope, the fear, the pity. Ignoring that frail person hunched over a step is ignoring our soul.
It is easy to exist in ivory towers, ignorant suburbs, hedonistic clubs or spiritual enclaves, making the rest of the world an unfortunate thing with which we are obligated to deal. Losing your soul is not a difficult process - it simply requires looking forward without a wavering glance. Eventually, looking in the mirror reveals the subtle transformation, presenting the question of if anything can be felt. The decision between either keeping our humanity or holding an empire of dirt must be a continual one.
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